A middle-aged man had an obsession with women's breasts. So he went to a psychologist and told the doctor about his problem. "I am going to do word association," explained the doctor. "I will say a word, and you will say the first thing that come to your mind. Let's begin. Oranges," said the doctor.
"Breasts," replied the patient.
"Apples."
"Breasts."
"Watermelons."
"Breasts."
"Wipers."
"Breasts."
"Wait a minute! I can see the connections between oranges, apples, watermelons and breasts. But automobile wipers? Where is the connection?" asked the doctor.
"Easy: one on the left and one on the right!"
A man goes to a psychologist and tells the doctor, "Doc, I think I have an obsession with sex." The psychologist agrees to examine him and begins by showing him some ink blots.
"What does this look like to you?" asks the doctor.
"Two people having sex in a bed," replies the client.
"And this one?" asks the doctor, showing a new ink blot.
"Two people having sex in a car," says the client.
"And how about this one?"
"Two people having sex in a field."
"Well," says the doctor, "you do seem to have an obsession with sex."
"Me?!" demands the client, "You're the one who keeps showing me the dirty pictures!"
Albert Einstein arrives at a dinner party. He introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What's your IQ?" Larry answers, "165." "That is wonderful!" says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have much to discuss!"
Next, Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What's your IQ?" The lady answers, "124."
"That is great!" responds Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!"
Albert goes to another person and asks, "What's your IQ?" The man answers, "51."
Albert responds, "How 'bout them Steelers?"
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